The Magic Of Prolonged Eye Contact (aka )
See that hot piece of ass and don’t know how to open a conversation? Want someone to like you but you don’t want to seem too desperate? Want to be noticed and cared about?
The simplest way to do that is prolonged eye contact.
Ever since I was a little girl, I was always watching people.
It became my safety. If I understood people, then they wouldn’t be able to hurt me.
I watched people and spent a lot of time thinking about what they must be feeling.
- Small movements
- Facial expressions
- The look in their eye
It invoked feelings and told me exactly what was going on.
I then instinctively gave them what they needed.
I didn’t realise this was my superpower until I was 18 and at a nightclub.
I saw this really gorgeous guy dancing with a girl.
I watched him so intensely that he noticed and started becoming self-conscious.
My girlfriends who were watching this unfold became so uncomfortable by me watching someone else intensely that they asked me to stop.
They weren’t used to someone being bold like that.
This gorgeous guy eventually approached me shyly after a while and we ended up seeing each other for a while.
This happy ending got me thinking about intense eye contact.
Being Instantly Liked
It’s funny. I quickly realised that most people are uncomfortable with being watched even when there’s no sexual attraction.
One of my best friends asked me to stop watching her because it made her self conscious.
She knew I was simply appreciating who she was but it still didn’t matter. She was not used to it.
I knew she felt seen in that moment. I knew she felt special enough to become self conscious.
I learnt that prolonged eye contact often invokes feelings such as:
- Intense insecurity feelings
- Intense feelings of importance (listened to and cared about)
- Intense sexual attraction
Such intensity that this sticks on someone’s mind.
My Lesson: People were uncomfortable with being seen even though they want to feel special.
As an adult, I have been called to my face:
- Eye F*cker
- Eye Rapist
- Big Brown Eyes
This always makes me laugh because these terms describe the intense power my eye contact seems to have.
I often respond with something funny like, ‘That’s miss eye f*cker to you boy’. Always gets good banter going.
But I could see what they really meant:
- I can make them instantly tap into their sexuality through my eyes
- I can show my sexual interest through my eyes
- I can invite curiosity through my eyes
- I can be playful using my eyes
- I can make people instantly comfortable through my eyes
All great things I’m be able to do easily.
My friend Colin once announced in a group that “He was totally smitten with another girl but when Dee looks at me, I (*he made a sound like a horse in heat*)”.
He didn’t have words, just a noise.
My Lesson: A well-placed eye contact will get me anything I want in a safe way where I don’t have to put myself out there too much.
Showcasing Great Attributes
Here’s what you show people by holding eye contact:
You show your vulnerability – When you’re really seeing someone, it shows that you’re not afraid to be seen.
You show confidence – When you’re really seeing someone, it means you’re not busy being insecure about yourself.
You show power – Locking eye contact is showing someone you’re not afraid of them.
You show sexual energy – Locking eye contact creates sexual energy.
You show presence – You’re completely in the moment and not self-conscious.
My Lesson: This is how I get noticed and cared about quickly.
Seeing Into Their Soul
The more you look into someone’s eyes, the more you start to see who they really are – without the facade. This allows me to cut through the b*llsh*t and get to know people on a much deeper level.
Many strong men and women have shed tears when I tell them what I feel about them through their eyes:
- I told my strong male friend that I felt that there’s a little boy inside him that desperately wants to be loved but doesn’t know how.
- I told a stranger that I felt like he was in a huge amount of pain and I wanted to wrap him up in a ball and keep him safe.
- I told a woman I felt her glow that could only come from recently falling in love with someone.
- I told someone I felt real anger festering inside them.
- I told someone I felt they were frustrated by life and seeking protection.
Knowing these things create real intimacy between people.
I can see how I could pretend to be psychic with this superpower. It’s that strong.
Try Prolonged Eye Contact Yourself
I know it’s scary if you have no experience holding eye contact with anyone. Most of time we spend our lives actively avoiding eye contact.
In fact I think that advertising works so well because we’re so busy avoiding eye contact with other people.
Here’s how to do it:
- Start watching people. Get out of your own self consciousness and become present watching anyone. Look at what they are doing.
- Get drunk and watch someone. Go to a pub and make eye contact with someone you’re attracted to. You’re drunk so you feel less self-conscious. See what happens.
- Always blink and smile naturally. Most people that come across creepy aren’t doing this crucial step.
- See what happens. Stop being afraid of being seen. Start faking confidence through eye contact and go with the flow.
I’d love to know how you go. Holding eye contact is a muscle you can learn straight away. And it gives you a huge amount of power.